Risk or Reward?

Twice. In one week! How could this possibly happen to me? I just don't get it. What am I doing wrong? God, this fucking hurts. Badly. Why can't someone just say "Hey, I'm not interested in you" or "Hey, I used you for your money". Like, I'd have so much more respect for someone if they were just honest. You don't have to disappear - POOF - out of thin air. A simple explanation is all that's needed. Will it still hurt? Yes. Will I still beat myself up? Yes, absolutely. So why does it even matter? I don't know, it just does. It matters a lot. WHY? Why am I not good enough? Why do I not matter? To anyone. I put myself out there and for what? To be reminded that I'm nothing? Not even worth a "Go fuck yourself"? My therapist had me write "you are worth it" on my dry erase board. And as I'm looking at it right now, I can't help but to think what a crock of bullshit that is. Clearly, there’s something wrong with me. I just don't know what it is yet.